Quick note: this post could be considered a pure rant. Do not read if rants aren't your thing.
When people ask me why I decided to join a sorority, I tend to respond with some wishy-washy answer about liking the girls or not wanting to have missed out on something good. While both of these answers are true, I can't deny that both are a double-edged sword. I do like the women in my sorority, yet they also cause strife, confusion, depression, anger, and at times desperation in my life. Not to mention, I tend to not like girls in general. I have had countless wonderful experiences because of my sorority, but I have had almost as many displeasing ones to match.
So why did I join a sorority? The last night of rush came down to a choice. Although I had gone to two houses that night, I was not, like most girls, choosing WHICH sorority to join. I was instead choosing between one house or none. I stand by my ultimate decision because, as I said, I have made some excellent friends and I have made some unforgettable memories. But there are so many things about being in a sorority that make me tense up and want to runaway.
Sometimes I wonder how some of the women in my house will ever survive life outside of it. Some seem completely unable to relate to what I call the "real world." How did they miss that blatant social cue? How can they be so sensitive to everything? I appreciate sensitivity as much as the next person. Yet the degree it reaches in the house makes me afraid to say what I think or feel. This is ironic considering my house prides itself on being such an accepting place. I cannot handle the stress of constantly worrying if I may or may not have offended someone or made them go cry behind a door. I hope that those of you reading this who know me pretty well know that I do not like to hurt people and do not directly say things to people if I think it will harm them.
This past term I found myself dreading certain social events because of this. I hate drama and it only seems to breed in sororities. Perhaps this is no surprise to people who are not in a sorority. But when I first joined, I knew my house would be different. Yet, sadly, there are just as many crying, yelling, stomping, and oblivious girls in my house as in any.
I repeat again that this is not to say I regret having joined my house. Just sometimes I think about how simple life could have been without this stress.
Note to anyone in my sorority (or I suppose any sorority, hello redhead!) who may disagree and is reading this: This post was not intended to be malicious; it is simply a reflection of how I feel. I still like you and the house.
Note to anyone in my sorority who may agree with me (I know you exist): I think it is okay to sometimes get away. It is probably the healthy thing to do.
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4 comments:
hey thats a note to me! and i totally understand how youre feeling - some days are good and other days youre looking to sign the paper to drop out. this is my first time ever living in (55 girls under one roof, yikes!) and so far its going well - i was expecting to punch someone by now hehe. well maybe come march i will, who knows. but yah, generally things are good over herrre. and thats my story. and i concur with yours. wuf!
Yay taking time away! Really, 5 terms on/involved with any group is way too much. And congrats for having guts! We should be able to be honest about how we feel just as much as the next girl. Too damn bad if to one person "expressing themself" is crying and to another it's mentioning how annoying constant whining is. It all should count, right? Call me and we'll be completely politically incorrect and unnecessarily harsh in private.
I live these words, Gemma Ross. I live these words.
Can we make that a conference call? Or is that too much like a group where we'll talk about our feelings?
Los Gemeles:
You don't know me. We've never met. But (for reasons which will briefly be explained later) we still KNOW each other. I am a married 42 year old woman - married for two years, in fact. I was supposed to go to Dartmouth and wound up saying "no" and going to this small school in Kansas closer to my family. In many ways it was a HUGE mistake. In many ways it was a good decision. Either way, It has shaped me into the person I am today. I came across your blog in an attempt to find someone else out there that had a not-so-great sorority experience (like me) that I could garner some inspiration from so I could finally write my national sorority a letter and tell them exactly what I think. I, too, had a love/hate relationship with sorority life. It has given me the best friends in the world yet it took from me so very very much. I am 5'10", an avid athlete (still) and look like an amazon creature. I got tired of the ridicule & I, unlike you, failed to realize the stupidity of it all soon enough. I sincerely hope you realize how amazing you are even without being just like everyone else. Further, I truly hope that you will continue to realize the special gifts that you have - so unique and special to you. Thank you for your blog. Thank you for your blunt yet kind take on reality and thank you for helping me realize yet again that it'll all be okay :)
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